Transforming Trauma: the path to Hope and Healing.
Work with me
In order to heal from Narcissistic Abuse and Trauma we need to be looking at root cause resolution and not just symptom management, as when trauma is held in our bodies it frames our reactions and we cannot just talk our way into feeling better. Talking therapies might help for a while but the same issues can start to resurface. The best way to achieve the results you want is with somatic therapies and trauma informed coaching, in an environment where you feel safe.
You're in the right place if this sounds like you...
Have been using unhealthy coping strategies (self-harm, eating issues, alcohol, over-spending/shopping)
Feel guilt and shame about the abuse and a sense of responsibility as though it was somehow your fault.
Feel numb/zoning out or feeling disconnected from the people around
Are in a high level of hyperarousal- anxious, nervousness, racing thoughts and feeling scared/agitated, overwhelmed and stressed out
Feel like you spend a lot of the time going between these two states and have difficulty controlling your emotions?
Feeling stuck (and don't know why)
Have anger/rage that seems to come from nowhere, are snappy with the kids.
Experience fatigue and extreme tiredness
Have physical manifestation of trauma and abuse- headaches, stomach aches, chest pains, dizziness, tingling limbs, nausea, IBS symptoms. unexplained physical or somatic issues.
Frequent nightmares/flashbacks
Constantly feel like it is all your fault, ruminate on things you could have done differently
Feel guilt and shame about your own behaviour or actions.
You may have been to talking therapies already but it did not help. This is not uncommon because although our adult brain can rationalise what has happened and how we should feel, the trauma is still held within our bodies. We cannot talk ourselves out of a trauma response and it can sometimes be unhelpful to try and process in this way. It is particularly confusing to know what abuse is and have all the information about what has happened to you yet still feel stuck and unable to move on. Until we have released the trauma that is held within our bodies our brain cannot time stamp it into the past, as an event that happened to us. Only once our bodies recognise an event as in the past and not still a present danger do we see a change in ourselves and less trauma responses.
I see you, I hear you and I believe you.
This was not your fault.
Hey you, I'm Shelley.
Are these easy words to hear? Do you spend so much of your time convincing yourself that you could have done something differently or must have caused this all somehow that these words feel uncomfortable and like they're not for you? Are feelings of guilt and shame about what has happened or maybe how you responded to the abuse creeping in? Let me tell you now that this was not your fault. Being with a narcissist is highly and chronically stressful, they are abusive and unpredictable, you will have experienced gaslighting, lies, put-downs disguised as jokes, being told you are too sensitive or emotional. This then alternated with the few good times where they act like the perfect partner. It's confusing right?! It is important to understand that you were trauma bonded and your nervous system was doing everything it could to keep you in the least pain and in the least amount of danger. Having experienced all this myself I know what its like to feel stuck, lonely and anxious all the time. It's why I now work with women to heal their trauma and reclaim their identity so they can find the hope and freedom they had within themselves all along. I will support you in a safe, non-judgemental space and we go at your pace, starting from where you are at.
Trauma happened to you, not because of you and it does not define who you are.
Introducing
The Freedom Within
My proven Signature Method that will help you to reclaim your identity and heal stuck trauma, allowing you to create a life you love and a future filled with hope and freedom... even if you are unable to go fully No Contact with the Narcissist in your life! Packages available for 3 or 6 months
Change your whole life.
build immunity to the narcissist
Get to a point where nothing the narcissist does bothers you. You are anchored in yourself and not reacting according to old trauma responses
BEautiful boundaries
Stop people pleasing and start living the life you really want! Constantly putting others before yourself is replaced with awesome boundaries and and new found confidence in yourself.
Heal yourself, heal the next generation
Improve your relationship with your children, whether they are little ones or left home it is never too late to heal and break the trauma cycle.
90 minute coaching sessions
Depending on your needs we will cover your adult self, younger self along with some psychoeducation including ifs parts work and polyvagal theory.
we will also look at trauma bonding and codependency, positive psychology and the higher/future self.
Deep healing of your mind, brain and body, working at the pace of your nervous system with somatic therapies such as:
safe and sound protocol, Hypnotherapy, brainspotting,
somatic belief reprogramming, narcissistic trauma informed coaching and trauma unlocking coaching methods
Email and whatsapp support between sessions so you feel supported every step of the way
there will also be worksheets to complete inbetween each session
and we will go through self navigation mapping
Everything included:
support on how to navigate parenting with a narcissist and how best to help you children.
my latest and best tips for self care based on many years of working in holistic health and wellbeing.
Plus, these bonuses!
a self hypnosis audio
re-write your story notebook
I can't thank you enough, I was in such a dark place when we started, with the overthinking, second guessing myself all the time and snappy at the kids. I was completely unable to focus on anything other than the court case. Things are completely different now- I am much better able to be the kind of mum I want to be and it feels like xxxxx has a much smaller effect on our lives. If you'd asked me 6 months ago if that was possible I would have said no but here I am! Coaching with you is the best gift I've given myself and my kids this year thankyou so much xxxx
— chloe.w
I couldn't recommend you enough!! I can honestly say when we first started I couldn't see a way out of the dark hole I was in. After doing our work I can now see a bright beautiful future and even when life throws struggles at me now I am more rational and understanding of my own feelings that I feel I can take on anything! If anyone is considering coaching with you I would say DO IT it is life changing and you won't look back
— K.B
I would definitely recommend working with Shelley , my life is completely different to how it was and with ongoing support from Shelley I am looking forward to making more positive changes in my life that will benefit me, my children and my partners lives
— Joshua. S
I can't put into words how amazing Shelley's coaching is. I am forever grateful for the patience, knowledge and care that Shelley has shared with me. I feel truly blessed and forever thankful that I have had this coaching. From the bottom of my heart I am truly grateful
— kate
Your sessions are amazing!!! The best investment I ever made xxxxx
— s.g
Thankyou so much for the session, it was great xxxxx felt it was time well spent and helped to clarify our direction as a family , we are super appreciative. We'll book another meeting with you next month, thanks again so much!
— kate
"Shelley held space for me to explain my situation in an understanding and compassionate way, she always listened so attentively. Her insight was instinctive and she made suggestions on how I might view a situation differently and also the steps I might take to soothe myself and be less triggered. Shelley was always encouraging and uplifting and I always felt heard and motivated. She inspired me to move forward with hope."
— JUDITH C
Somatic Therapies
brainspotting
"Where you look affects how you feel" Brainspotting uses this natural phenomenon and uses eye positions (brainspots) to locate where trauma, anxiety and depression are held within the brain. This allows the brain to process from the inside out and bottom up. It is a very gentle technique and particularly useful in helping to identify and heal underlying trauma because it access both body and brain processes.
hypnotherapy
Hypnotherapy is the therapeutic use of hypnosis, which is a natural state of deep relaxation or trance and it can help with reprocessing events or faulty beliefs at a deeper, unconscious level
somatic belief reprogramming
Used when working on inner child healing and root cause resolution. It uses reconsolidation of memory to create transformational change and new neural circuits.
safe and sound protocol
The Safe and Sound Protocol (SSP) is an evidence-based listening therapy designed to reduce sound sensitivities and improve auditory processing, behavioural state regulation, and social engagement behaviours through filtered music. As a practical application of Polyvagal Theory, the SSP acts as a non-invasive, acoustic vagal nerve stimulator, helping to re-tune the nervous system to better support, connection, collaboration and resilience.
The SSP involves listening to specially filtered music through headphones alongside a provider, in-person or remotely. Suitable for children and adults, the SSP has demonstrated benefits for individuals with trauma, anxiety, sensory processing differences and more.
positive psychology
"Positive psychology is the scientific study of what makes life most worth living" Peterson. It is a scientific approach to studying human thoughts, feelings and behaviour with a focus on strengths not weaknesses, building on the good in life. It looks at character strengths, optimism, life satisfaction, happiness, wellbeing, gratitude, compassion, self-esteem, self-confidence, hope and elevation.
Internal family systems
The Internal Family Systems method is a way to understand your internal system and help it to transform and heal. It is based on the principle that there is an undamaged, resourceful self at the core of every person and that accessing that self is a safe, effective way to heal other parts of the mind. In IFS all parts are welcome
Ready to get started?
I'm ready!
If you are ready to take the next steps on your healing journey please book in a FREE Discovery Call.
I really look forward to speaking with you!
